


Sally: the Less-Hideous New Girl

by WilhelmAres



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Body Horror, Dib is Vindicated, Gen, New Student
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-01-03 19:56:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21185123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WilhelmAres/pseuds/WilhelmAres
Summary: Skool gets a new student, and Dib was randomly selected to give her a tour. What could go wrong?





	Sally: the Less-Hideous New Girl

"So, you're the one that's supposed to guide me around?"

Melvin looked at Gretchen like she was an idiot. "No? Gretch, we've been at this school for like 6 years, and I'm not Dib."

Down the hall, Dib showed the new girl the cafeteria. Well, he plugged his nose as she laid on the floor crying and dry heaving due to the school food. Dib grabbed her ankle and dragged her to safety. 

Safety in Skool being incredibly relative, meaning they fell into the student meat mines. The foreman tried to hand the duo pickaxes, but Dib simply handed the tour pass and was allowed to leave. 

"Hey, only you're allowed to leave!" the one-eyed foreman screamed at Dib while grabbing the new girl. "You don't have your pass yet!"

"This place is a fucking nightmare. Hey! The minors are eating the oregans!" Dib shouted.

"HEEEHE?!" 

A dozen small, hairy beasts looked at the mad man and hopped off the meat wall. Thirteen sets of eyes look at the new girl and Dib. They backed up against a wall of flesh as the minors encircled them. Dib grabbed a hunk of spleen from the wall and threw it at the gaggle of skoolchildren. 

While they vored the spleen, Dib grabbed the new girl's hand and led her up the mine's tunnels. Gnashing teeth and grappling hands were no match to the feet stepping on them in their escape.

Dib slammed the mine door behind them, followed by the slamming of the group of things "cannibal" isn't quite accurate on.

"... Godparents!" The emancipated hunchback in front of the class screamed. "Oh, hello Dib! Fell in the mines again?"

"It was either that or cafeteria food, Mr. Crocker. I'm taking- wait, what's your name? Forget it, answer in class. I'm taking her on a tour of the school."

"Carry on, student!"

Dib and the new girl exited the classroom into a ring of doors a foot apart with two hallways on opposite sides. She, not remembering a row of doors in the classroom, opened the door to her right. The classroom extended far to much in either direction for the doors or even classrooms to exist.

"Um, Dib?"

"'Don't worry, don't think. It just is' was my dad's advice on the skool. Take it to heart."

They walked down the nearest hallway to Ms. Bitters' classroom, where the strangest person she's ever seen was waiting. Then, he was the loudest person she's ever heard, yelling about "Deeeeeb-stench" and "grand plans" and "enslavement of the filthy humanity" and other dull things, with that ugly tongue flapping around.

So, she grabbed it and pulled. And pulled. 'This kid is part tape ruler' she thought while crossing the '50 ft of tongue line'. After around 200 ft, she booped him in his lack of a nose, and his tongue snapped and retracted like a whip, cleaning the floors and smacking Dib in the face.

Zim was absolutely disgusted, morally at that violation on his tongue and physically having licked a never cleaned floor spotless. He was so disgusted he couldn't muster the will to stop her from biting his ankles, bending his three fingers, rubbing his ear flatness, and placing a stethoscope on his squiddly-spooch.

He did have the will to react to her removing his contacts and wig, though. He quickly put them back on and the three engaged in a staring contest. Nobody wanted to make the first move.

Until the new girl exclaimed "man, you are one ugly kid" at Zim.

"Come on! He's an alien! You couldn't have not seen his antenna!"

"LIES! FILTHY HUMAN LIES!"

"Of course he's not an alien" she said through gritted teeth "as if he was an alien invader here to enslave us he'd have to silence those who know."

"SEE DIB-MEAT! EVEN THIS HUMAN--"

"I have a name. It's--"

"IRRELEVANT! EVEN THIS HUMAN SMEET KNOWS BETTER!" Zim screeched while backing into the classroom.

"Holy dookie, an actual living alien. I... I have to contact the Swollen Eyeballs!"

Dib was astonished. _Someone acknowledged Zim as an alien? Someone else wanted to expose him!?_

"Talk to me after school" he told her, pointing at his shirt. "Agent Mothman will be vindicated!"

Before it clicked in her head that _this _was the (in)famous Agent Mothman, he walked into the classroom.


End file.
